I am I doubting believer… a gentle warrior…a laughing mourner…a spiritual body… a liberal conservative… an adult child ..
.a weeping celebrant… an honored outkast …a human animal …a true fiction …a sincere hypocrite… an unconscious consciousness
..a real fantasy and a Christian bitch!
I am nothing that is something… who hear sounds in silence…see’s mystery in the Common… Embraces the sacred in the mundane and finds wisdom in fools.
I follow an Oxymoron who said that the first are last… that the cursed are blessed… that dying is how one finds life… And the greatest of all is the slave of all.
The Oxymoron who called power weakness and riches poverty and glory shameful and who called weakness power and poverty riches and shame glorious. The Oxymoron who said all the Kingdom of Heaven is smaller than a mustard seed. The Oxymoron who put sinners before Saints and beggars before kings. The Oxymoron whos crown was thorns and his throne was a cross and his greatest victory was the greatest tragedy of all time. The one who wins by losing, the one who fills by emptying. The GOD who is HUMAN. The Oxymorom. The paradox. The mystery. The contradiction. The dialect. The Oxymoron.
Yes call me an oxymoron… Put me in the camp outside the city with all the sages and all the shamans in all who have stood between worlds. I am a Christian and I am a bitch. If that doesn’t make sense to you it’s not supposed to, no more than the sound of one hand clapping make sense… or that the journey is the destination… or that the question is its own answer, for I am a living koan and I seek only to become who I have always been.
And you will only understand when you cease trying to understand. You will only grasp when you open your hand. And you will only hold on when you let go.