Category Archives: Random Thoughts

I wish I could say I dont love you anymore

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Dear Absent,

It angers me that I miss you and still find myself  looking for your face in every crowd…I miss your smile and the way you made me feel, not just on the outside but on the inside as well, I felt so alive with you, so loved and understood. I never believed you would ever really leave even though you warned me from the beginning…I am having trouble forgiving you, mostly because you havent called and asked, in fact I have no idea where you really are now that I have been shown your tangled  web of lies…I pray we have more than one soulmate in this life because I know you and I were written in the stars but that I can never take you back and hold onto a shred of self respect. Sometimes I think your dead and thats why you havent called but then the memory comes crashing down like a tidal wave and I feel myself beginning to drown in the realization that you have had many opportunities.  I am sure of it  and in this world of technology even though we have both changed numbers many times, I know you would come find me if thats what you really wanted. Afterall you are my Maguyver and have found me every other time…If you come you know I would still run to you with open arms, even if against my will, but I will always doubt your love and that leaves us broken…I wish I could honestly say that I didnt love you but I am not the liar, you are…

Forever and Always,

Your Baby

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A Sons Choice

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English: A roll of silver, Scotch brand duct tape.

English: A roll of silver, Scotch brand duct tape. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My son, my pride and joy, my once precious and loving wonderful little boy, is becoming a man right before my eyes and wants to join the military, The National Guard to be exact and I am mortified…

I was in the Navy and remember how many promises were made and broken by our government to a lost litl girl in need of direction. I recall vividly how they take you and do whatever it takes to break you and bottle your spirit. I remember huge cockroaches in the showers and daily humiliation by those superior to the newbies and the homesickness that settled into my gut the moment I got off the bus. I know that he is in need of a purpose and overall direction in life and for his future and the harder that I push him to not make this choice the further away he will pull, so I have no choice but to respect and try to support his decisions as he is almost 18 but as his Mother I really wish I could duct tape him gently to a pole until he changes his mind so that I know my baby is safe. I would feel and water him of course…

He is a very smart, quick whitted young man who can be or do anything he puts his mind too and it just pisses me off that the schools welcome recruiters into their buildings to mindfuck and feed on children who think the only way they can ever go to college and fulfill their dreams is thru the militarys promises of the GI bill. They make them feel that if their parents aren’t loaded or they arent star atheletes with guaranteed scholarships,the only way to ever be able to experience the movie like college dream of parties, girls and straight A’s is to play russian roulette and sign on to be an American hero. They fail to tell them that this wonderful government of ours, if deployed, doesn’t give a shit about them individually or provide the basic essentials needed to survive and get thru your time fully intact whether it be physically or mentally. That you may have to scavage for materials to make their own armor to protect yourself from roadside bombs, rocket propelled missles and suicide attackers that come in all forms even pregnamt women and young kids looking for candy…they fail to disclose alot of these things to their recruits because if they did then no one in their right mind would ever sign on the dotted line…

All I can do at this point is pray for my son to have the wisdom needed to make an informed decision and remember that no matter where life takes my precious litl boy, God has his back! So I am going to do my best to bite my tongue and put this in the Lords hands and try not to lose my mind or my son in the process…

God Bless The USA and please keep us in your prayers as I can only handle so much before I fall and break my newly unveiled, superglued heart of glass…

Dear Childhood Friends,

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 A Letter To An Old Friend

© Taleshia K Glover

Childhood friends? I hope we still are.
Years have put space between us and now you seem so far.
Childhood promises never seem to stick.
Best friends forever is an old classic.
What would happen in the future?
We were not aware.
Who could forget that one special person that was always there?
The arms into which you fall.
The one to which you crawl.
No more playing in the back yard.
Growing up sure makes being friends hard.
From kids to teenagers we have grown so much.
I wonder how such good friends seem to loose touch.
Maybe destiny will hopeful let us meet again.
Until then this is a letter to an old friend.

My Dear Magge,

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As I Watch You Grow

Do you know how much you mean to me?
As you grow into what you will be.
You came from within, from just beneath my heart
it’s there you’ll always be though your own life will now start.
You’re growing so fast it sends me awhirl,
With misty eyes I ask, Where’s my little girl?
I know sometimes to you I seem harsh and so unfair,
But one day you will see, I taught you well because I care.
The next few years will so quickly fly,
With laughter and joy, mixed with a few tears to cry.
As you begin your growth to womanhood, this fact you must know,
You’ll always be my source of pride, no matter where you go.
You must stand up tall and proud, within you feel no fear,
For all you dreams and goals, sit before you very near.
With god’s love in your heart and the world by its tail,
You’ll always be my winner, and victory will prevail.
For you this poem was written, with help from above,
To tell you in a rhythm of your Mother’s heartfelt Love!

author unknown

Aside

 I am so thankful for my family! Today we went over to my sisters house to celebrate my niece/Goddaughters 19th Birthday and my daughter turns 15 on Monday. I was so tired I fell asleep right after I filled my belly with chili because I started my new job today and was up at 3am…when I got home I threw up and had to lay back down but all I could think about was all the love in that house and how fast children grow up, afterall it seems like just yesterday when I myself was turning 15 and at 19 was pregnant with my now 17 year old son. I thank God for my family, my sobriety, and for the love that surrounds us each day as we go our separate ways!

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 If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back,

a roof overhead and a place to sleep… you are richer than
75% of this world.

f you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare
change in a dish someplace… you are among the top 8% of
the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than
illness… you are more blessed than the million who will
not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the
loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the
pangs of starvation… you are ahead of 500 million people
in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of
harassment, arrest, torture, or death… you are more
blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married… you
are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are
truly thankful… you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them
on the shoulder… you are blessed because you can offer
healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double
blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and
furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion
people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, and
pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

 

author unknown

Happy Birthday Girls!

It Is Good To Be A Woman

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WOMEN……

 

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up against injustice.

They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without new shoes so their children can have them.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all SIZES, in all colors and shapes.

They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!

Women do more than just give birth.

They bring joy and hope.

They give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.


FURTHERMORE…

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like a complete idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren’t listening anyway.

 

author unknown

The Dance

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The Dance
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs you want our children’s children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle
not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Seeking You

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The moment I heard my first love story I began seeking you,
not realizing the search was useless.
Lovers don’t meet somewhere along the way.
They’re in one another’s souls from the beginning.

Rumi
(1207-1273)

Native American Ten Commandments

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Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.
Remain close to the Great Spirit.
Show great respect for your fellow beings.
Work together for the benefit of all Mankind.
Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.
Do what you know to be right.
Look after the well being of mind and body.
Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.
Be truthful and honest at all times.
Take full responsibility for your actions.