I remember before my mom died she grabbed my hand and said “Don’t let yourself hit that brick wall baby!” At the time I had no idea what she was talking about but with hindsight being 20/20 I think I am figuring it out. You see she had known loss and grief early in her life and understood how it could turn one bitter and hard. Also she knew me, her baby, well enough to know that if not carefully supported and lovingly guided thru the cycles of grief, it was very possible that I would spin out of control and eventually self destruct…which for twelve years I did. Not only did I hit that brick wall but then i backed up and rammed it again and again and again until I all but lost consciousness in the process. Now that I’ve come to a new understanding with my spirituality and am embracing life again I find myself having to forgive many people around me but mostly myself and that’s where I’m having the most trouble…so just for today I pray for the courage to forgive myself for all the time I have wasted grieving and the strength needed to forget the past and embrace the future!