Tag Archives: forgiveness

Somebody Loves You! Goodnight…

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somebody is very proud of you.
-somebody is thinking of you.
-somebody is caring about you.
-somebody misses you.
-somebody wants to talk to you.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody hopes you aren’t in trouble.
-somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
-somebody wants to hold your hand.
-somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
-somebody wants you to be happy.
-somebody wants you to find him/her.
-somebody is celebrating your successes.
-somebody wants to give you a gift.
-somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
-somebody hopes you’re not too cold, or too hot
-somebody wants to hug you.
-somebody loves you.
-somebody admires your strength.
-somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
-somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
-somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
-somebody thinks the world of you.
-somebody wants to protect you.
-somebody would do anything for you.
-somebody wants to be forgiven.
-somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.
-somebody wants to laugh with you.
-somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
-somebody is praising God for you.
-somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.
-somebody values your advice.
-somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
-somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
-somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
-somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.
-somebody treasures your spirit.
-somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.
-somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
-somebody can’t wait to see you.
-somebody loves you for who you are.
-somebody loves the way you make them feel.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody wants you to know they are there for you.
-somebody’s glad that you’re his/her friend.
-somebody wants to be your friend.
-somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
-somebody is alive because of you.
-somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.
-somebody wants to get to know you better.
-somebody wants to be near you.
-somebody misses your advice/guidance.
-somebody has faith in you.
-somebody trusts you.
-somebody needs you to send them this letter
-somebody needs your support.
-somebody needs you to have faith in them.
-somebody will cry when they read this.
-somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
-somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.

 

author unknown

 

This has always brought me comfort in times when I have felt alone. I am so thankful for all of the people in my life and all of the memories we share and cherish, knowing that each day could be our last, no one should ever feel alone and we need to remember to tell our friends and loved ones how much they mean to us and that we are always there for them!

 

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Aside

 I am so thankful for my family! Today we went over to my sisters house to celebrate my niece/Goddaughters 19th Birthday and my daughter turns 15 on Monday. I was so tired I fell asleep right after I filled my belly with chili because I started my new job today and was up at 3am…when I got home I threw up and had to lay back down but all I could think about was all the love in that house and how fast children grow up, afterall it seems like just yesterday when I myself was turning 15 and at 19 was pregnant with my now 17 year old son. I thank God for my family, my sobriety, and for the love that surrounds us each day as we go our separate ways!

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 If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back,

a roof overhead and a place to sleep… you are richer than
75% of this world.

f you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare
change in a dish someplace… you are among the top 8% of
the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than
illness… you are more blessed than the million who will
not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the
loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the
pangs of starvation… you are ahead of 500 million people
in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of
harassment, arrest, torture, or death… you are more
blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married… you
are very rare, even in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are
truly thankful… you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch them
on the shoulder… you are blessed because you can offer
healing touch.

If you can read this message, you just received a double
blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and
furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion
people in the world that cannot read at all.

Have a good day, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, and
pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

 

author unknown

Happy Birthday Girls!

Seeking You

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The moment I heard my first love story I began seeking you,
not realizing the search was useless.
Lovers don’t meet somewhere along the way.
They’re in one another’s souls from the beginning.

Rumi
(1207-1273)

An Indian Prayer

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My Grandfather is the FireMy Grandmother is the Wind

The Earth is my Mother

The Great Spirit is my Father

The World stopped at my birth and laid itself at my feet

And I shall swallow the Earth whole when I die,
and the Earth and I will be one.

Hail The Great Spirit, my Father, without him no one
could exist because there would be no will to live.

Hail The Earth, my Mother, without which no food
could be grown and so cause the will to live to starve.
Hail the wind, my Grandmother, for she brings loving,
life-giving rain nourishing us as she nourishes our crops.
Hail the fire, my Grandfather, for the light, the warmth,
the comfort he brings without which we be animals, not men.

Hail my parent and grandparents without which,
not I, nor you, nor anyone else could have existed.

Life gives life which gives unto itself a promise of new life.

Hail the Great Spirit, The Earth, the Wind, the Fire
praise my parents loudly for they are your parents, too.

Oh, Great Spirit, giver of my life please accept this
humble offering of prayer, this offering of praise,
this honest reverence of my love for you.

I Loved You Best of All

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Before we met, you and I were halves unjoined except in the wide
rivers of our minds.  We were each other’s distant shore, the
opposite wings of a bird, the other half of a seashell.  We did not
know the other then, did not know our determination to keep alive
the cry of one riverbank to the other.  We were apart, yet connected
in our ignorance of each other, like two apples sharing a common
tree.  Remember?
 
I knew you existed long before you understood my desire to join my
freedom to yours.  Our paths collided long enough for our indecision
to be swallowed up by the greater need of love.  When you came to me,
the sun surged towards the earth and moon escaped from darkness to
bless the union of two spirits, so alike that the creator had designed them
for life’s endless circle.  Beloved partner, keeper of my heart’s odd secrets,
clothed in summer blossoms so the icy hand of winter never touches us.
I thank your patience.  Our joining is like a tree to earth,
a cloud to sky and even more.  We are the reason the world can laugh
on its battlefields and rise from the ashes of its selfishness to hear me say,
in this time, this place, this way – I loved you best of all.

By The Seaside

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As we stand beside the ocean tide,
may our love always be as constant and unchanging
as these never-ending waves that pour beneath our feet,
flowing endlessly from the depths of the sea;
your love came softly upon my heart,
just as the foam comes softly upon the sand,
and just as there will never be a morning
without the ocean’s flow,
so there will never be a day
without my love for you.
I pledge myself to you this day.
Our love will be as unchanging
and dependable as the tide;
as these waters nourish the earth
and sustain life, may my constant devotion
nourish and sustain you
until the end of time.

An Apache Blessing

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Now you will feel no rain, for
each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for
each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness, for
each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but
there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the
journey ahead and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion and
your days together be good and long upon the earth.

Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and
remind yourselves often of what brought you together.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness,
gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.
When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as
they threaten all relationships at one time or another,
remember to focus on what is right between you,
not only the part which seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the storms when
clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives –
remembering that even if you lose sight
of it for a moment, the sun is still there.
And if each of you takes responsibility for
the quality of your life together,
it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Aside

 

The Meanest Mother
By Bobbie Pingaro, ©1967

 

I had the meanest mother in the whole world.

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids’ also.

But at least, I wasn’t alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we’d be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less–not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy’s pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn’t sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I’d had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn’t improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, “sick” like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends’ report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You’re right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.

Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

 

The Meanest Mot…

Duck n weave, dodge that other shoe!

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“Everything is so superb and breathtaking. I am creeping forward on my belly like they do in war movies.”
-Diane Arbus

Do you ever feel like things are going so well for you that you’re sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop? That is how I am feeling this week and its bittersweet. I have spent the last decade walking around with a hole in my heart the size of the Grand Canyon on a path of self destruction. I was stuck in a cycle of grief and unconsciously feeling guilty for being alive and getting thru each day just to get to the next and the next and the next until I was finally allowed to die and be reunited with my Mother and Brother who passed away four months apart from one another in 2000 and my best friends. I strongly believe that suicide is a very selfish act and could never leave that legacy or cause my loved ones the same pain that had been torturing me for so long. I will divuldge more in posts to come but long story short I recently had what in rehab they call a ‘spiritual awakening’ and it was so intense that it could not be denied! God reached down from heaven and bitch slapped me so hard that after a twelve year temper tantrum, I hit my knees and spoke to the God of my childhood whom I had turned my back on like a hurt and angry child who didn’t get her way. As I prayed and wept, asking for forgiveness, that hole in my heart began to shrink and I was filled with the peace, comfort and love that I had felt as a small child and the healing began! Prior to this I had become so depressed that I could not even get off the couch and was unable to see my future past the kids graduating and moving out. I lost my passion for life, forgot who I was and didnt feel worthy of even loving myself (in spite of many anti depressants) and I realized that I had never been left alone! Then after forgiving myself for being so selfish and missing out on alot of happy memories as my babies literally grew up before my eyes and my marriage failed, I knew what I had to do and God removed his hand from my eyes so that I could see the path laid out before me. This change in me, this peaceful joy that has filled my heart and soul is amazingly powerful and frightening at the same time. Its like waiting for the other shoe to drop and having to just trust that the light that I now can see at the end of this tunnel is not a train…